About Rent-a-Brit™

A Brit on demand has all kinds of useful applications.
Explore this section to learn some of the myriad uses of Rent-a-Brit™

Your Rent-a-Brit™ will feature all of these things and more:

Fantastic accent
Cheerful and polite demeanor
Keen fashion sense
Pleasing scent
Great teeth (new!)
Can translate Guy Ritchie movies into comprehensible English
Extensive knowledge of obscure sports
Brings ethnic diversity into your work place
Makes a great cuppa and cute little cucumber sandwiches
Great at parties, bar mitzvahs, and other special occasions

Wing Man

Unsure of how to strike up a conversation with that lovely lady down at the other end of the bar? Get all the benefits of American culture's fascination with English accents without embarrassing yourself with Monty Python impersonations. Your Rent-a-Brit™ will chat up that bird, talk you up and pass her on once she's gone all mushy.

Testimonial: "I'm no Cassanova. In fact, I hadn't gotten laid since that hooker my friends bought me for my 21st birthday. Thankfully, Rent-a-Brit™ saved me from celibacy hell. He just walked into the club and was swarmed with co-eds in minutes. He introduced me as his 'black belt ninja porn star friend' and the evening went on from there. I ended up scoring with this crazy 'cougar', but who am I to complain?"

Apologies

Messed up big time with your Special Someone? Hugh Grant's done worse, we wager, and yet his floppy hair and a few bumbling words always get the ladies crawling back for more. Your Rent-a-Brit™ will get you out of the doghouse before you can say, "Terribly sorry, darling!"

Testimonial: "When I accidentally slept with my girlfriend's twin sister, I thought my relationship was over for good. Rent-a-Brit™ showed up just as she was setting fire to my belongings, flashed those puppy dog eyes and took her out to tea. Now our relationship is better than ever and the twins and I have started a croquet club!"

A Date to Impress

Upcoming black tie affair or family reunion and no boyfriend in sight? Rent-a-Brit™ will stare at you adoringly, charm the socks off your most gruesome relatives and generally make you appear at least twice as successful / beautiful / intelligent as you actually feel.

Testimonial: "I was known as the 'sweaty waddle gimp' all through school. Approaching my ten-year reunion, I was unemployed and obese with a horrible skin rash. Then I found Rent-a-Brit™. Now all those b#*ches who tortured me in high school have signed up to be my friends on FaceBook."

Bar Brawls

You're at a pub and suddenly some surly drunk is heading toward you with a mean look in his eye. Not sure how you got here? Gain the upper hand with an ornery Rent-a-Brit™ in your corner.

*Broken bottle and liquid courage are sponsored by Stella Artois.

**Clients may incur additional costs of 8-12 pints.

***Client must sign legal release forms before rental.

Testimonial: "When that heavyset biker came at me brandishing a pool cue over a dispute about whose table it was, I knew I was in trouble for sure. Thankfully I'd brought Rent-a-Brit™. Not only did we win the fight but that biker's girlfriend came home with me. Sweet!"

Respectability

Nothing elevates a person or organization more than inspired words delivered with British charm, good looks and that enviable BBC accent. A valued colleague giving up the corner office for good? You can skip the gold watch; acknowledge that retiree with a memorable Rent-a-Brit™ toast!

Testimonial: "My boss gave me the opportunity to make our company's biggest pitch of the year. We nearly lost the contract because we lacked 'credibility and a basic understanding of personal hygiene requirements.' Then I brought in Rent-a-Brit™ to our final meeting. Our client was super impressed, we got the job, and I now know that it is socially unacceptable to wear tapered pants with pleats. Rent-a-Brit™, you are the best!"